Gillian Saga VII - Sideways
by monica.prelooker
Summary: Cops are being shot down in Boston and Gillian gets targeted because of her years in the force. Now the BAU can only hurry to try to catch the killers, and Hotch faces the possibility of being too late. Again.
1. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Teaser 1-3

_"__These feelings won't go away_

_They've been knocking me sideways_

_I keep thinking of the moment that_

_Time will take them away."_

It's a cellphone video, and it opens with a black screen reading in white, as the voice of a teen reads it in a bragging way: SHUUUT A CUP!

Then it's the small living-room of a working-class apartment, and the camera approaches two 18-year-old boys sprawled on the couch. Both of them have their hoods on and bandanas covering the lower part of their faces, so only their eyes are visible.

The boy holding the cellphone yells at them: "Hey, yo, get your lazy asses up! We got work to do!"

The boys stand up and approach him, leaning to the camera.

"And what're we gonna do, huh?" one asks.

"Are we gonna shut a cup?" the other one asks.

"HELL YEAH!" the three of them yell, and they laugh.

One of them grabs a 22 pistol and slides it in his waist, hiding it beneath his shirt.

"That's my man!" the boy with the phone cries. "Today's Kyle's day to shut a cup!"

"Yeah!" the other one yells.

They head out teasing and bragging, the boy with phone follows.

There's a smash cut and they're in a car, loud music. The boy with the phone is at the passenger seat and turns so the camera shows Kyle, the boy with the 22, sprawled in the back seat, looking out.

"Are you ready, my man?" the boy with the phone asks.

"Yeah!" Kyle replies right away.

"ARE YOU READY!?"

"YEAH!"

And the three of them yell together: "YEAH!"

Another smash cut and the car is parked around the corner from the main entrance to a mall downtown. Kyle leans forward between the seats, the three boys yell and clap and make noise to encourage each other.

The boy with the phone yells: "GO! GO! GO!"

Kyle steps out of the car tugging his shirt and hoodie down, breathes deep a couple of times and heads around the corner to the mall's entrance.

"There he goes!" cries the boy with the phone. "That's our man! C'mon, Kyle! Give as some…!"

"ACTION!" the boy behind the wheel yells.

"YEAH!"

As they yell, the boy gears in and turns squealing around the corner, to roughly pull over across the street from the mall's gates. The boy with the phone leans to him, so the camera can have a clear shot of Kyle brushing past people, toward a woman standing by the curb.

"There she is!" the boy with the phone cries. "That's the star of today's episode of Shut a Cup!"

As Kyle comes closer, the woman turns around. She looks past him and smiles, waving her hand high at somebody coming from the corner.

"C'MON KYLE!" the boy with the phone yells. "SHUT THE BITCH! SHUT A CUP!"

The boy behind the wheel repeats, like chanting: "SHUT A UP! SHUT A CUP! SHUT A CUP!"

Kyle halts right before the woman, who doesn't even registers him, and yells at her:

"HEY, YOU, BITCH!"

The woman glances at him slightly frowning and looks up again past him.

"THAT'S OUR MAN! THAT'S HOW YOU TALK TO THEM, KYLE!"

Kyle yells again: "LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU, BITCH!"

The boys inside the car yell as, in one single motion, Kyle pulls the 22 from his waist, stretches out his arm straight at the woman's chest and pulls the trigger.

"YEAH!"

The woman glances down, trying to understand what just happened, and she slowly crumbles down, while Kyle sprints to the car and dives into the back seat.

"GO! GO! GO!"

The boy behind the wheel floors it as he swerves away from the curb and they skid away. The camera captures one last glimpse of people gathering around the now fallen woman, and a tall boy desperately yanking them out of his way as he cries out loud:

"MOM? MOM!"

As they drive away, the boy with the phone turns for the first time the camera to his own face, showing the only narrow visible strip of his face, where his blue eyes shine with joy as he mockingly says to the camera:

"And that, my friends, is how you shut a cup. See you soon!"

And he turns off the camera.

In the small dark Tech Room of the BAU, Garcia blankly stares at the screen, tears rolling down her cheeks, lips moving without a sound.


	2. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Teaser 2-3

_Everything is in slow motion, blurry, muffled sounds._

_Gillian looks around. People moving around. The watch on her wrist —Connor is late, what a surprise. She's not pissed, Connor is always ten minutes late._

_A few cars driving by._

_Then a boy stands before her, his face a complete blur. He's speaking, his voice muffled and distorted, meaningless sound._

_Behind the boy, she spots Connor coming: the only clear, vivid thing in this blur of slow motion._

_His beautiful face, so not a child anymore, his features showing the upcoming man. But always her baby, her greatest, deepest love. Her one reason to live. His amazing dark blue eyes, his smile that makes everything right._

_Then the blur of the boy's head comes in the way and hides Connor. Speaking again. No words, just annoying loud mumbling._

_He pokes her chest —who the hell is he? What the hell does he want? Connor is coming._

_And she feels the small sudden burning prick where the boy poked her. But the boy is no longer there. He's gone._

_Connor is just a few steps away when she realizes something's wrong._

_The prick is spreading, and it's now a throbbing pain in her chest._

_Then she glances down and sees it: a tiny burned hole in her shirt, a thread of blood dripping oh so slowly, staining the fabric in red._

_She's been shot and Connor is still coming. But the boy is gone, so there's no immediate danger for her son._

_There's no fear. She's been a cop for too long to be afraid. She's come to terms long ago with the possibility of dying like this._

_Her knees falter._

_Connor. She'd like to hold him one last time, but she'll have to settle knowing he's alright. That's all that matters._

_It was a small gun, since she didn't even hear the shot. How can it hurt so much?_

_She has one last glimpse at his face, so perfectly clear as the blur of people around closes in on her and hides him. She feels so blessed she had the chance of being her mother._

_There was one more thing she wanted to do before falling, she realizes as everything goes dark. Stupid chicken, always stalling. Now it's too late. At least he knows she loved him._

_And Connor is fine._


	3. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Teaser 3-3

It's early in the afternoon and the BAU team is flying home from the West Coast. On board, everyone is relaxing in their own fashion.

All of a sudden the screens are turned on to Garcia, panting and trying not to sob. All of them sit up as Jennifer pats Morgan awake from his drowse.

"What is it, Garcia?" Hotch asks, worried.

She speaks in a thread of voice: "It's… She… LT's been shot!"

All of them stand sharply up.

"WHAT!?" Morgan cries.

"Calm down, Penelope," Jennifer says. "Breathe and try to explain us what happened."

"How do you know?" Rossi asks.

It's not easy for Garcia to make some sense as she mumbles, still so shocked:

"This… this video… just went viral… they sent me the link… and I thought it would be kittens, so I watched it! And it's a boy… he's on the street, and Connor's there… and LT… and the boy… he… he just… shoots!"

"They shot them both!?" Reid cries.

"No, no! Pillbug's fine!"

"Was it in Boston?" Jennifer asks.

"Yes…"

Hotch is already hurrying to the cockpit, trying to get some air to his lungs through the burning chunk of ice trying to collapse his chest.

As the jet makes a sharp turn left, heading north, Morgan tries to calm Garcia down and Rossi is already calling Connor.

Hotch hurries back from the cockpit, grasping 20 years in the field to keep breathing and on his feet, knowing this is not a nightmare. It's worse: this is real. Gillian may be dead right now and they may be heading to Boston only to attend to her funeral.

He joins the others around Rossi, who puts Connor on speakers.

"Connor, it's Dave. Tell us what happened, please," Rossi asks, managing it to keep his voice firm and calm.

The boy is obviously past upset, his voice all the time at the brink of breaking down in tears.

"We were meeting at Macy's and I was almost there! And then I see her falling, and I run, and-!" his voice breaks. "Somebody had just shot her!"

"And how is she, kiddo?"

"I don't know, Dave! She's been in surgery for hours!"

Hotch exhales, only one thing clear in his mind: she's not dead. She may be dying as they speak, on the table of the OR., but he's not about to consider it. She's alive.

"Connor, it's JJ. Is there anybody there with you?"

"Yeah, yeah, the whole team."

Morgan looks up at Hotch, who nods. "Hey, kid, we're on our way to Boston right now, ok? So hang on, we'll be there in a couple of hours."

"O-okay…"

"Call us if you need anything, kiddo," Rossi says. "And don't worry, she'll be fine."

"Yeah…"

Rossi disconnects while Hotch and Morgan are already dialing their phones. Hotch turns his back on them. They all know he's completely messed up, and he knows they know, but their empathy won't help him to hold it up.

All of a sudden it feels like his old scars, the nine scars Foyet left him, are aching, the wounds just about to open again. He has to take it, but he doesn't know if he can do this again.

He can't run once more to the woman he loves and be too late.

He hears Reid asking Garcia to send them the video and he feels the burning prick of tears in the back of his throat, all levels of guilt and anguish ruthlessly whipping him. He knows this has nothing to do with him, it's not his fault. But he wasn't there.

He's let her stay away ever since Tampa, accepting her silence and her distance, just waiting for the next time work would bring them together. And now there may not be a next time. Now there may be nothing. Ever.

A few words by a swimming pool. Her hand in his. Her last smile on the jet.

Is that all what's left for him from Regan Gillian? Will he be burying his heart again, when he just found it back after so much pain and regret?

He's biting so hard at his lip that he's about to draw blood, eyes tightly shut as he waits for his call to be picked.

end of teaser


	4. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act One 1-6

_"__Death twitches my ear. 'Live,' he says, 'I am coming'." — Virgil Publius Vergilius Maro._

At the hospital's waiting room, the TPU team is pacing up and down the walls, waiting for any news from the doctors. Save Tanya, who's sitting with her computer, never minding if it's not allowed there, a glaring scowl behind her glasses, furiously working. And Fred. All of the sniper's hippie placid calm has turned into stone.

Aldana is standing like a soldier by Connor when her phone buzzes. She turns her back to the nurse station and goes to the furthest corner to take the call.

"Al, it's Morgan! What the hell happened? Reg was shot!?"

She keeps her voice down. "Yes. One shot to her chest with a 22. They missed her heart for hardly an inch."

Morgan is glad nobody else, specially Hotch, heard that. "Let me put you on speakers," he says, and the others gather around him. "What do you know?"

"Not much. Connor didn't get to see anything. He didn't even hear the shot. We only have the internet video. Tanya is already tracking down the uploader."

Reid is playing the video on Jennifer's tablet. "Shut a cup?" he asks. "What's that?

"Shoot a cop," Aldana bitterly replies.

"It says 2… this is not the first incident?"

Rossi glares at him to stop the video, to keep it from Hotch.

"A week ago, a detective from the gangs task force was shot, a street away from his house. The video is also posted online."

"Do you have it?"

"I'll have Tanya send it to you. Where are you guys? Can't you come over? This could already cut it for you to take the case…"

Hotch forces his eyes to stay open and drilled to Morgan's phone at her words. They would usually take the cases when there are two kills. And for his sanity's sake, there can't be a second victim.

"We're on our way to Boston," Rossi says.

"Oh, thanks God! I'll text you guys the address of the hospital."

"What about Reg's father?" Morgan asks.

"That's another big thanks God. They're still not talking to each other, and right now he's in California with his new girlfriend, so I only had to call him and listen to his rant demanding me to keep him posted and catch the bastards."

Hotch finds his voice to ask: "How long has she been in the OR.?"

"About three hours now. The bullet bounced, so they have a good deal to patch and stitch up."

As soon as they disconnect, Hotch says to Jennifer: "JJ, play the video."

All of them turn to him, hands to his hips, fierce scowl on, clenched teeth.

"Hotch, you don't wanna watch this," Jennifer argues.

"We all need to watch it and start working on it," he snarls.

Jennifer sighs her disagreement and plays it on the screen. All of them watch it in complete silence, feeling the chills at those boys taking it all like such a funny game.

Time seems to set everything in slow motion when Hotch sees Gillian on their screen. He sees her smile at Connor coming from the corner to meet her.

And he's meeting again her piercing blue eyes in the original TPU office. He's holding her up as they slowly make their way down a mountain of debris. He's looking straight at her from across the street, as she holds up his eyes from inside the coffee shop. He's holding her tight as she cries her heart out against his chest in a rest-room. She's showing him a daring piece of red lingerie with that smartass smirk of hers. She's staring at him, lost in his explanation, as they drive to the police station. She's standing in his office, absolutely astounding in her tailored suit. She's madly yelling at him about Wednesday breakfasts and her love for him. She's gasping at him after profiling together. She's sleeping by his side in the SUV, cuddling in his suit coat. He's gently caressing her hand on their way to the airport.

Then time flows normally again.

The boy stretches out his arm, and the smallest red stain shows up in her chest. And she crumbles down, still trying to understand what's going on.

It takes only a second.

And that second may have stolen her away from him forever.


	5. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act One 2-6

Cruz storms out of his office with a go-bag and barks at his assistant: "Cancel all my appointment for the next two days! And get me a jet ready! NOW!"

And he's out, storming away down the bright hallway of Quantico's sixth floor. He doesn't bother to knock on Garcia's door. He roughly opens it, startling her up.

"Grab your go-back, Garcia! We're leaving!" he barks at her, and stalks away.

The BAU team skids out of a hallway to hurry into the waiting room, where half the TPU team is still walking up and down in wait for any news. Connor's joined Tanya in her furious hacking. Fred is still sitting, a cold blank glare fixed ahead, and now you can really imagine him ambushed behind his M40, waiting for his target. He hardly blinks when the BAU joins them.

"Guys! Any news?" Morgan asks as they storm in.

"She's still in the OR.," Hank shakes his head.

Hotch's given himself his time to feel guilt and self-pity and now he only wants to talk business, because anxiety is killing him.

"Who's leading the case?"

"This far, Boston PD. Cooper was trying to take it over, but Cook wouldn't step back."

Cook. Hotch's going to throat that old man if he doesn't yield. He takes naturally the lead and nobody is about to say anything about it. For now.

"Hank, call Cooper to let us handle it. Dave, call Cook. They shot a federal agent so it's our jurisdiction now, but we're working this together. Get Banks as our local liaison."

Aldana browses her phone and hands it to Rossi. "Here's Cook's number."

"Are there any witnesses?"

Aldana shakes her head, abashed. "It was so fast, nobody realized what happened. Nobody remembers even hearing the shot."

"A 22 pistol shot is only 152 decibels, and the average noise on a downtown city street is always about 100 decibels. That's why nobody remembers hearing it."

Reid is also grasping at his mind not to let the shock take him over.

Morgan turns to Kurt. "Do you have your computer here? We're gonna need some things."

Kurt grabs his backpack and sits. He pulls his computer out and opens it wiping his nose on his sleeve. Hotch can clearly see how devastated the punks-on-a-picnic are, and he can totally relate.

"What d'you need?"

"A map of the city," Reid says right away.

"Let's go back to the video," Hotch says, kicking himself into focus. "What can we make of it?"

"They were kids," Jennifer says. "None of them is even 20."

Rossi joins them back and nods at Hotch questioning look: Cook is handing the case over to them.

"They looked like gang members," Reid says.

"But they keep their faces hidden. We only have their voices and the name of the shooter: Kyle," Morgan points.

"The one holding the camera, he looked like he was in charge," Hotch says.

"We could be dealing with a pack, then he'd be the leader," Jennifer adds.

"But Reg's left the force almost a year ago now," Morgan argues. "How did they know she used to be a cop?"

"And where to find her," Reid adds. "Where was she when they shot her?"

"She was meeting Connor to do some shopping at a mall," Aldana explains.

Kurt shows them a map and circles the location for them.

"That's ten streets away from our field office," Morgan points. "Does she usually go there?"

Aldana shakes her head. "No. They were shopping a present for Connor's girlfriend."

Hotch keeps breathing deep to keep his mind clear, then he turns to Tanya: "Did you accessed the security feeds of the mall and the street?"

Tanya doesn't look up from her screen. "Nothing from the mall's feeds, only a lateral of the car to get the model. I'm accessing the street cameras now."


	6. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act One 3-6

Jennifer goes back to what's bugging all of them: "How did they know she was going to be there, today, at that time? Connor, did you and Reg talk about meeting there at some public place?"

Connor sits aside his computer to join them. Reddened eyes, shaky breath, the boy is fighting harder than anyone else to hold it up.

"No, we fixed it last night at home."

"Then they had to follow her," Reid says.

"So they knew she used to be a cop and now she's a federal agent, and where she works," Jennifer sums.

"That's a lot of information for these kids to have," Morgan points.

"What if the boy taking the video is not the actual leader? Remember those missing kids in Chicago, maybe they're being manipulated by a grown-up with access to that information," Rossi says.

"But who would know that Reg quit the police and joined the bureau?" Reid asks.

"Half the city?" Aldana grimaces. "Reg was fifth generation of Gillians in the force, the whole department heard about her resignation after the hostages crisis. And you know cops talk."

Hotch turns to Tanya again. "Anything on the uploader yet?"

It's Kurt who answers: "They're using proxies, so right now it shows as uploaded from Rumania. But T's already set the program to track them down. At some point it's bound to ping here in Boston, but there's no telling how long it'll take."

"The street cameras?"

"I'm downloading the feeds from the whole block, I'm starting to check them in a minute."

"Any of you know anything about gangs in the area?"

"Fred?" Aldana calls.

The sniper steps up. His voice is ice cold: "Give me five minutes to see the video again and I'll tell you."

He reaches out to Kurt, who hands him his computer.

"Please, use your earphones…," Connor wearily asks.

Fred just nods and goes to sit with Kurt's computer.

Hotch is keeping a close eye on Connor. He doesn't want to even try to imagine how the boy must be feeling. And he cannot even pat his shoulder, since it's the first time he sees him since the hostage crisis, and they've hardly ever traded any word. He will have to trust the rest of the people in the room to give him some comfort.

Then a doctor comes in, still wearing his surgeon's gear, his mask hanging from his neck. The label pinned to his chest pocket reads "Dr. Benjamin Cole".

"Regan Gillian?" he asks.


	7. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act One 4-6

Everybody steps closer, holding back their breaths. Cole quickly smiles.

"She's fine. It took a while because we had some minor complications, but we were able to repair all the damage made by the bullet. She'll be ok."

Everybody exhales.

"She's in her room now. The anesthesia should be wearing off in a while. You can see her then, but no more than two people at a time."

Hotch would hug him and kiss him, as warm relief washes over him, but he only nods and says: "Thanks, doctor."

Cole smiles once more and leaves, Rossi follows him. Morgan goes to sit back with Fred and the computer. Connor closes his eyes with a shaky sigh and lowers his head, as tears roll down his face. Aldana and Jennifer hurry to him.

"Hush, big boy," Aldana sooths him. "You've heard the doctor, she's fine…"

Connor tries to get a grip on himself but he just can't.

"I know!" he cries, flustered and angry and still so scared. "But she was there waiting for me!" And I was ten minutes late! If I'd been there in time…!"

Reid materializes by the boy and rounds his shoulder with one arm. Connor hides his face against Reid's shoulder, still trying to stop crying.

Reid sounds calm and logic as he holds him: "This is not your fault, Connor. You saw the video, they had already targeted her. This is nobody's fault but the unsub's, who pulled the trigger."

Not exactly text book to calm the boy down —she was already targeted!, Hotch curses under his breath. But it works, and Hotch forces himself to remember that no matter what he feels for Gillian, he's some kind of outsider here. All of them are closer to her and her son than him. All of them know them better. And suck the irony up.

He knows that just like Rossi likes to play foster father to Gillian, Reid's become some sort of little brother for her and a big brother for the boy. And that's why he knows exactly what to say to Connor to help him out of his dark well of desperate guilt.

At the nurse station, Rossi is talking to Cole, who explains: "There will be no physical consequences of the attack. She may need some counseling though, to overcome the trauma, but nothing out of the ordinary."

"What can you tell me about the bullet's trajectory?"

"I think the shooter was aiming for her heart, but he got nervous and he faltered. Or he wasn't expecting the slight pull of the gun. To be honest, that's the only reason why she's still alive."

"Doctor, we're gonna need the bullet you extracted."

"Sure, come with me."

While Reid is still with Connor, Jennifer goes back to Hotch. Before she can say or ask anything like how-are-you, he says: "We need to set up shop and start working right now."

With all of her years of communications liaison, Jennifer softly rules: "Sure, but you're staying."

Hotch frowns, she holds up his eyes, not the least impressed. Jennifer very rarely takes heed of the years of solid rock friendship and affection between them, but now she does.

"Hotch, it's us and the TPU to work this, we have it covered. You need to be here when Reg wakes up."

Those days when he loves Jennifer more than ever. He nods, sighing like he's giving up. Right then Rossi comes back and shows them a small plastic bag with the bullet in it. Hotch feels his throat squeezing shut at the blood still on it, staining the bag. Gillian's blood.

Morgan joins them as Aldana signals her team to leave.

"Let us know when she wakes up," Morgan says to Hotch, his serious look more of a warning —you better don't leave her side. "We'll keep you posted."

Reid softly pats Connor's hair as they part. Hotch and the boy stay there, watching the others leave.


	8. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act One 5-6

"Come on, Connor," Hotch sighs. "Let's find your mother."

"Room 307," the boy dully says, but he's right about to smile at Hotch's questioning frown. "I've accessed the hospital data base."

Hotch nods. Of course he did. Garcia's padawan. Hire him or bust him. They leave the waiting room together.

Gillian's room is the last one down the third floor hallway. As they approach it, Connor says, in that plain way so like his mother: "I'm glad you're here, and thanks for staying… can I call you Hotch?"

"Sure, and you don't need to thank me. We came as soon as we knew."

It's a complete first for Hotch. In his world, the definition of son is Jack and his friends, or Henry LaMontagne, little kids. But Connor is 17, much more of a young man than of a child, so he needs some adjusting to find out how to treat him.

Connor's next words confirm it, in a thoughtful tone: "We were all so shocked, that we didn't even think about calling you guys. She would've thought about it right away. She never freezes. Guess that's why she's the boss."

Connor speaks like one of the team, but now he says: "She's gonna ask about you as soon as she wakes up."

Hotch frowns. "No, Connor, she will ask about you."

It's just genetics, that trademark Gillian's smartass smirk as Connor clearly points Hotch his right place: "No, cos I'm gonna be right by her side, and you're gonna be waiting out here."

He scoffs as they reach the room, and they pause to look at her through the glass. So he knows about what his mother feels for him?

"You're gonna get'im, right?" Connor asks, eyes fixed on his mother. "The son of a bitch who did this."

Hotch nods. It's a promise. "Yes, Connor, we'll get them"

"Good."

The boy walks into the room. Hotch stares for a moment longer at Gillian lying there, her dark hair framing her pale, absent face; a thick, notorious bandage shows under the hospital gown around her left shoulder, she has electrodes to her chest, the slim oxygen tube to her nose, the IV, the pin on her finger.

He steps back and rests against the wall, arms folded, his mind a thick blank where only one thing is clear: she's alive, and that's all that matters right now.


	9. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act One 6-6

At the field office, Cooper hurries to meet the teams as soon as they come out of the elevators, and walks the BAU to the conference room, while Aldana fills her in about Gillian.

"Hank told me you're taking the case," Cooper says to them, and it's really odd, seeing this energetic, eternally pissed off woman, so concerned.

"Yes," Rossi confirms. "We're expecting the local PD to send us the files."

"Good," Cooper hesitates. "Anything you may need…"

"If we could count with the TPU to assist us…," Morgan says.

"Of course."

Aldana brings prints from the video and a map, for Reid to start pinning them on the board. Cooper turns to her.

"Miles, you and your group are now working with the BAU in this case."

"Yes, ma'am," Aldana simply nods.

Cooper is about to say something more when Cruz and Garcia storm into the field office, spot her and go straight to meet her, finding the team in there.

"How's Gillian?" Cruz asks, not wasting time in hellos.

"She's out of the OR., the doctor said she'd be fine. Hotch and Connor stayed at the hospital," Jennifer quickly answers.

Cruz breathes. "Good, good. Cooper, anything the BAU may need, they have it, understood?"

"Agent Cooper already allowed us to work with the TPU for this, Chief," Rossi diplomatically comments.

"Good. Fine. Bet you didn't have time to book rooms. Agent Cooper, if you'd be so kind as to find us accommodation."

"Of course, sir."

"I'm setting my things with Tanya," Garcia says, as Aldana comes back in.

"Banks is on his way with everything on the first shooting."

"How about the security tapes?" Reid asks, circling in a map the place where Gillian was shot.

"Tanya has them and she's isolating the footage of the time frame we need. Kurt is enhancing the captures to see if we have enough to run facial recognition on the unsubs."

"If you'll excuse me," Cooper mutters. "I'll be in my office."

"Thanks, Cooper," Cruz nods, and turns to the team, hands to his hips. "What do you have?"

They quickly fill him in and Morgan adds: "Fred said they're not wearing anything that could link them to a particular gang."

Once again, Jennifer goes back to what's bugging them: "I still can't get how they knew she would be there."

"Like I said, maybe they followed from here," Reid repeats.

"But she would've noticed if she was being followed," Cruz argues.

"It's a downtown mall, and we all know how's Boston traffic at rush hour in those narrow streets. You get anywhere faster walking than driving," Morgan points.

"It's true," Rossi agrees. "You wouldn't pay attention to a car driving too slow, because all of them are driving too slow, jammed…"

Jennifer shakes her head, flustered. "The video is roughly edited, but there are cuts, so there's no way to know how long they drove around before… stopping at the mall."

end of act one


	10. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Two 1-6

"Connor…"

"Right here, mom. I'm fine, don't worry."

Gillian's eyes flutter slightly open at the sound of his voice. She's made it? A warm light weight covering her hand: Connor's hand. Relief washes over her. She's made it, Connor's there with her. And he's fine.

Clear walls around, the shadow of a head.

"Try to rest, mom."

His voice works his magic. Everything is becoming slowly clearer. She must have enough morphine in her system to stay high for a whole year. But she's starting to sense again. The pulling stitches in her chest, the things pinned and plugged to her body. She's in a hospital room. They got to her in time.

Thoughts are trying to kick in through the heavy wet cotton that seems to fill her head.

That boy. The boy who shot her. They have to find him. He can't go around shooting people like that.

Phone. Call Al. Maybe she's right there and Gillian can't see her.

No. She can't tell every line and every detail of the room around her, but she can tell only Connor is here with her.

The boy notices she's numbly moving her hand, like looking for something. And he knows what she wants, so he says, slowly to allow her to make sense of his words:

"It's ok, mom. They're taking care of it. They went back to the office as soon as you came out of surgery, and they're working the case."

Good. That's good news. Gillian pauses, struggling to kick the numbing morphine away. At her side, holding her hand, Connor flashes a little smile and adds:

"The BAU is here too, mom, working with the lads."

Those words do make their way straight to her brains, right through the morphine. Where's her damned phone? She needs to call them and tell them not to worry, that she's fine.

And she needs at least to hear his voice.

"Call…," she manages to mutter.

Connor knows where she's going and smiles wider.

"Don't worry, I'll call them."

"Him…"

She needs to pause to breathe. Dammit. She never thought that uttering a few words would be so exhausting.

"Hotch…," she adds, in case her son is in morphine too and doesn't get it.

"No need, mom. He's right out the door. D'you wanna see him?"

She opens up her eyes and finds Connor's, and his smile. Before she can take in all of what her son's words mean to her, Connor nods and says:

"Let me get'im."

And he walks out, into the blurry white of the hospital's lights.

Is it true? Is Hotch there? Right there, so close?

Stupid selective morphine. She can't even move her hand, but it allows her to register how the beep-beep of her heart rate grows faster. She better calms down, or some stupid nurse will come and knock her out, and send him away before she can even see him.

So she closes her eyes and breathes deep. It hurts a little. But she needs to bring that stupid beep as back to normal as she can. So breathe, Gillian. In. Out. In. Out…


	11. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Two 2-6

Hotch steps up when he sees Connor coming out of Gillian's room. The boy says nothing, he meets his eyes with a little smile and nods at the room's door. Hotch looks past him, through the glass, and uses those three steps to breathe really deep and bury deep down all the fear and anguish he's been through for the last hours.

He walks cautiously in and approaches the bed. Gillian's eyes are closed and her heart rate is regular and calm. He'd like to at least take her hand, but he doesn't want to disturb her.

Then she opens her eyes, and they find the tall silhouette approaching her bed. She tries to find his eyes and really see his face, but he's just one step too far.

Hotch notices her frown, and that she's trying to move her hand, so he hurries to her side and leans to her, taking her hand.

"Gillian, it's me, Hotch," he gently whispers.

Now she can see his eyes, those piercing green eyes, and they're fixed on her. And she can see every single line and detail of his face. That face that's filled her dreams for so long now. The face of the man she loves past any sense and logic.

And all of a sudden she's afraid this is all the morphine working, and maybe he's not there.

"Aaron…?" she mutters.

Hotch swallows at her weary voice uttering his name for the first time, and leans closer to her face, resting his elbow right above her pillow as he nods smiling.

She has a vague notion of a wet trail down her cheeks, but she doesn't give the last of damns. His smile is so warm, and his hand is holding hers, and he's really here with her.

Hotch frowns at her tears, concerned, but she doesn't let him ask anything. She needs to say this. He doesn't need to call the doctor. It's just that she's been hiding away like the worst coward, and she recalls the bitter regret as she was collapsing on the street a while ago.

But it's hard to speak. Her mouth feels like wet paper, and she doesn't want the stupid beep to spike up again.

"I… I thought… I knew Connor… fine… I saw he was… right before… I knew… But you… you…"

She needs a pause to breathe, and he softly says: "It's ok, I'm here."

Her eyes move over his face once more, not even noticing the tears flooding them as she forces her numb brain to find the right words.

"I thought I'd never… see your face again…," she mutters, troubled and guilty and scared, as tears breach and roll down.

Hotch takes her hand to his lips, incapable to utter a single word at realizing it —he was maybe the last thing that crossed her mind when she was shot.

She breathes as deep as she can and closes her eyes, completely overwhelmed, tears pouring harder when he gently caresses her hair, instead of holding her tight as they both need, but can't.

"Can you…?" she says then.

"Yes? Just tell me what you need."

"Stay…?"

Hotch smiles again. "Of course, I'm not going anywhere."

His words, his low, confident voice, his firm hand holding hers. It's real. It's all so wonderfully real. She nods her thanks, eyes still closed.

Now he's here with her, she can think.

"It's all blurry… But maybe… Morgan…"

Hotch frowns, then he shakes his head scoffing. She can't be serious, which means she probably is.

"We're not doing a cognitive interview right now," he says, and her mild frown tells him he was right. "You need to rest, we can do it later."

Her lips purse in a weary smile as she mutters: "Yessir…"

Oh, God, if he only knew how wonderful it is, hearing him. She would so hug him and kiss him and ask him to marry her. If anything, just to have him bossing her around till death do them part. Because it almost did, stupid death, and it didn't feel right at all, because they were so far apart.

Hotch softly chuckles, and she smiles a little wider at the bare sound, and he kisses her hand once more, knowing that this is it. Now he's really not letting her go anymore. It's been enough of distance and silence. They have too many things to share to keep stalling like the cowards they've both been.


	12. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Two 3-6

Cruz, Banks, the BAU and the TPU minus hackers crowd the conference room to watch the first video.

This time it's at night. The three same boys with their yelling and bullying get into their car and drive to a residential area, and past a solitary man hurrying down a quiet street. Then they stop and the boy holding the cellphone gets out of the car, the image bouncing at his quick pace when he presses on to catch up with the man. He calls out:

"HEY, GOMEZ!"

The man stops and turns around to look back at him. "Who's that?"

The boy steps four quick strides, stretches out his arm with a 22 and yells:

"BYE-BYE, SON OF A BITCH!"

He shoots the man three times in his chest. The man crumbles down and the boy leans to him, to get a good picture of his agony as he scornfully says:

"See, my friends? They ain't no superheroes. They're just the same shit we all are."

But the man looks up at him and frowns, his lips moving. Then the boy steps quickly back, spins around and runs to the car.

He jumps in as the other two cheer for him. Then they hit the gas and squeal, rocketing away. The boy shows his veiled face, smiling eyes, to say:

"And that, my friends, is how you shut a cup. See you soon!"

Everybody grimaces when the video ends, and Jennifer turns to Garcia.

"Penelope, go back right after he shoots detective Gomez."

Garcia does and slow forwards it.

"There!" Jennifer points. "Look at Gomez' face."

"He recognized the shooter…," Reid frowns.

Morgan leans to the screen. "And look how he moves his lips, he's saying something. Baby girl, can you try to filter the audio and see what he says?"

"Right away," Garcia says, and leaves with her computer.

Rossi turns to Banks. "Do you have any record of the gangs Gomez was working with?"

"Maybe there's something at the station, or most likely at his house," the detective says. "I'll take care of it."

"Did you hear what the boy said?" Cruz mutters, narrowing his eyes.

"They ain't no superheroes, they're just the same shit we all are," Reid's eidetic memory quotes right away.

"That's what they're trying to prove with this?" Morgan says. "That cops are plain human?"

"How about Gomez' records as a cop?" Reid asks.

"Impeccable," Banks says. "Everybody liked him well in the force."

"Was he the heroic type?" Rossi asks.

"You may say so, yes. You need some guts to work with gangs as he did, and earn their trust. He prevented more than one gang war just by playing as an intercessor between them."

Kurt shows at the door. "Got the plates! Running them now!"

"Good!" Morgan smiles. "Anything on ballistics?"

"The same gun on Gomez and Reg, no local matches, still running the search nationwide."

Right then Rossi's phone rings and everybody freezes.


	13. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Two 4-6

"Hotch, you're on speakers."

At the hospital, Hotch is holding his phone on speakers too, between him and Gillian. He's still holding her hand, and Connor is standing by them.

"Hey, Dave…"

Everybody leans to Rossi's phone at hearing Gillian.

"Reg! How are you feeling, kiddo?"

"Appreciating morphine…?"

"C'mon, two years in Vices and a stupid 22 is taking you down?"

Gillian smiles at Banks' voice, so glad he's there working with them. She's still weary and numb, and speaks very slowly: "Is that my favorite beer belly?"

Banks chuckles again. "Tease now, I'll get you later," he turns to the others. "I'm going now, to see if I can find any of Gomez' notes. Take care, Reg."

He leaves while Gillian asks. "This is linked to Gomez' death?"

"Yes, the same boys," Jennifer.

"Did you find any leads?" Hotch asks.

"Gomez was shot by the boy that takes the videos, and we think Gomez recognized him."

"He shot Gomez three times straight to the heart. No hesitation," Morgan adds.

"But there's nothing to connect them to any gang," Fred says.

Garcia hurries in. "We have the plates, but the car was reported stolen two weeks ago.

"Tell me about clichés," Hank grunts.

Tanya shows up by her side. "But I located it!" She shows them on the screen a capture from a street camera, and circles the car parked in front of some buildings.

"Morgan, Reid, come to the hospital, to interview both Gillian and Connor," Hotch says. "Dave, JJ, you go check the car."

"Where is it?" Gillian asks.

"Gangs territory," Aldana answers right away.

"Fred, go with them…," and she explains to Hotch. "He knows his way… with gangs."

Gillian hates being so weak, but this little conversation exhausted her. Hotch notices her frown and hurries to say:

"Keep us posted."

He disconnects and leans to her. She tries to smile.

"I'm fine…"

"That's my line, Gillian," he seriously says, and now she really smiles, at least a little.

Connor's phone buzzes. "It's Marla, mom, I'll be right back," he says, heading out.

"I'm a mother-in-law now," she mutters, closing her eyes. "I hate it."

Hotch sees she's frowning again, but she explains: "It's the morphine wearing off… I'm feeling an ant's nest inside my chest… damned 22…"

"Try to stay quiet," he softly says.

She nods, she can use a little rest, but there's just so much to tell him, and so much to ask him. His hand rests on her forehead, and its warm, firm weight instantly soothes her. Hotch watches her slip into a frail slumber and sighs.


	14. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Two 5-6

Cruz joins the ride, and Fred takes them to a working-class area in the southern part of Boston. He drives past the stolen car and pulls over at a corner, right across the street from a dozen boys hanging out by the fence of a house.

As soon as the boys spot the SUV, and see them step out, most of all Cruz' suit, they all line up along the curb, hands to their waists, ready to grab their guns.

While Rossi and Jennifer trade a look, Fred takes the lead saying, in his calm casual way: "Hey, guys, it's ok, it's me."

One of the boys, hardly 23, raises his hand, signaling the others to stand by.

"Hey, isn't it Fred the Fed," he says, mocking him.

Fred's fist meets the boy's. "Marley, nice to see you in one piece, man. Meet my friends, JJ, Dave, Cruz."

"Feds?" the boy scorns, looking up and down Cruz in his suit.

"Yeah. Hey, we wanna ask you guys about that car over there."

Rossi points at the stolen car, Marley glances at it and shakes his head.

"No idea. Never seen it."

"It was stolen ten days ago," Rossi says. "Do you know if it's been here the whole time?"

"No idea. Never seen it."

"Is this your territory?" Jennifer asks.

Marley nods with a bragging smirk. "Yes, ma'am. Fancy the tour?"

"Then it may cause you some trouble, cos somebody is using that car to shoot cops."

Now Jennifer really has Marley's attention. "What?"

Rossi nods grimacing. "You know cops don't appreciate cop killers. If they find this car here, they will assume that it's got something to do with you, since this is your territory…"

Marley turns to his gang. "Yo, whose car is that?"

"No idea. Never seen it," a couple of boys answer, the others shake their heads.

"And they're shooting cops?" Marley asks Fred.

"Yeap. Two this far, and they're posting the videos on the internet."

"Anyone I know?"

"Gomez and Gillian."

Marley's attitude vanishes as he scowls. "Gillian my chick? And Gomez!? But he's the only cop with a little wit in town!"

"They killed him a week ago, when he was coming back home," Jennifer says, to feed his anger. "And they shot Gillian this noon at Macy's."

"But they're alright!" Marley goes on. "Who the hell would wanna shoot them? There are lots of dickheads cops to shoot!"

"That's what we're trying to find out, Marley," Fred grimaces.

"Gillian and Gomez didn't have problems with any gang?" Cruz asks.

Marley shakes his head at the suit's question. "Nah, man! No way! We all know them for years. Good people! You saying those son of bitches killed them both?"

"Gillian made it, she's in the hospital. Do you know of any new gang in this area?"

"Ma'am, this is my street. No new gangs here. No-one messes with me," Marley states, and turns to Fred again. "Don't worry, we keep an eye on that car and see who comes. I still got your number."

Marley signals them to wait, goes to the fence and comes back with a few flowers from a bush. He gives them to Jennifer smiling.

"One for you, ma'am, the others for my friend Gillian. You tell'er she better be ok."

He and Fred pat each other's shoulder and they head back to the SUV.

"Do you think we can trust them?" Cruz asks Fred as they drive away.

"Yeah. Marley didn't like it all, he will call."


	15. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Two 6-6

Morgan knocks and comes in with Reid. Hotch and Connor are sitting at each side of the bed and Gillian slowly opens her eyes and smiles.

"Look at you!" Morgan smiles back. "They got you covered, Reg. No running away in crutches this time."

"Tomorrow," she assures in a low voice, and moves her hand to Reid. "Hey, I'm owing you the hug…"

Reid takes her hand and nods smiling. "It's good to see you awake, Reg." He glances at Connor, Gillian nods. "Hey, Connor, let's go outside to do this."

Connor stands up, kisses his mother's hair and follows Reid out. Morgan pulls his chair closer and sits right by the bed, Gillian turns to him.

"Ok, Reg," he softly says. "You know how this goes. Close your eyes, breathe deep, and think of today's noon."

Gillian does, and behind her closed eyes, she finds herself again at the mall's gates, now flanked by Hotch and Morgan.

"What do you see, Reg?" her friend asks.

She looks around. "People, cars, the usual…"

"You were waiting for Connor…"

Gillian turns to the corner. "Yes… I see him coming."

She sees Connor pausing when he's about to cross Hawley St., to give way to an old car turning into Summer St. That's the amazing thing about cognitive interviews, she thinks, she didn't even know she'd seen the car.

"He lets this car turn," she mutters. "It's old, two kids on it, I can hear their music."

"That's them, Reg," Morgan says, always speaking calm and slow. "We already have the car. Can you see their faces, or something distinctive?

"No… they look like gang members. Odd… they don't belong here but nobody seems to notice…"

"That's because it actually happened very fast. Do you see the boy who shot you?"

In her mind, she turns to look again at the corner Connor is coming from. And she sees the boy, Kyle, striding to her.

"HEY, YOU, BITCH!" he yells at her.

Gillian faces him and feels a chill. She reaches out for Hotch. As soon as he takes her hand, she relaxes and the boy is in better focus. The image freezes in her mind as she studies him.

"Reg…?" Morgan softly calls.

"I can hardly see his eyes…," she mutters. "He's so young… Connor's age… Hispanic…"

Kyle yells at her again: "LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU, BITCH!"

"He's trying to look furious but he's sweating," she realizes. "He's upset…"

"What about his clothes, Reg?"

"Baggy jeans, T, flannel, hoodie, jacket…" There's something there. "Wait, his jacket…"

But she can't hold the image, and in her mind, Kyle pulls out the 22. She frowns.

"His hand is shaking… He doesn't wanna shoot me… Is that why I'm still alive…?"

Kyle cocks the gun and Gillian stiffens. She doesn't want to relive how this boy shot her.

Hotch feels her fingers pressing harder and his other hand covers hers as well, as he says: "It's ok, we're here with you."

"You were saying something about his jacket, Reg. What about it?" Morgan says, to keep her focused.

In her mind, with Hotch standing right by her, she takes a deep breath and softly pushes Kyle's arm aside, leaning a bit forward.

"It's a badge… It reads C.H.H.S."

But Kyle points the 22 again at her chest. Gillian looks straight into his eyes, feeling the cold fear rooting and spreading inside of her.

"He's about to shoot me…," she gasps.

Hotch's voice keeps the fear at bay. "No, he's not. You're with us now."

But Kyle shoots anyway, and the cold of her fear mixes with the heat of adrenaline.

"Connor's ok…," she mumbles. "But I'm bleeding…"

She can feel it. It's like warm water running inside of her. And breathing is suddenly harder. Everything gets blurry.

"I'm passing out…" She turns around in her mind, desperately looking for him. "Hotch…?"

Hotch and Morgan see her grimacing in pain.

"You're ok, Reg, open your eyes," Morgan says, controlling his own jolt.

Her hand squeezes Hotch's as her heart rate spikes up, setting off alarms at the nurse station. She passes out with a muffled groan.

"Gillian?" he calls her, standing sharply up but not letting go of her hand.

Morgan also jumps to his feet, right when two nurses storm into the room. One of them sends them both out at once, while the other frantically checks the monitoring equipment and works on Gillian.

"Pressure's dropping!" Hotch hears her say as they're leaving the room.

He and Morgan hold their breaths, standing by the glass, and they see Dr. Cole come running down the hallway and shouting at the nurses in the station:

"CALL OR.! WE'RE TAKING HER DOWN RIGHT NOW!"

Hotch feels again the burning chunk of ice crushing his chest when the doctor skids into the room. He and the nurses slam the door open and run out pushing Gillian's bed to the elevators.

Hotch turns to see them taking her away and all he can think is: _Don't, Gillian. Don't you dare to leave me. Please._

end of act two


	16. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Three 1-8

They're two of the longest hours of Hotch's life. He texts Reid so he can stall Connor from coming back, then he pushes himself down on a chair, nails his eyes to the floor and stays there. A few steps away, Morgan takes turns to pace, sigh, sit down, stand up and start over. They don't trade a single word, nor a single look.

He'd give anything to cling to any hope, no matter how small and pale. But he's seen so many people die in so many different ways, that he just can't. He doesn't give up yet. He won't unless Cole comes and tells him she's gone. But he can feel how he's already bracing himself inside for the blow.

Finally Reid can't stall Connor anymore, and the boy runs out of the elevator, eyes wide open in fear. He heads straight to Hotch, who stands up and waits for him.

"She had an internal bleeding and they had to take her back to surgery," he says, not waiting for the boy's questions.

Connor looks straight into his eyes for a moment, as to make sure he's not lying. Hotch holds up his eyes and slowly nods. The boy sits down right by the chair where he was, Hotch sits back down and they stay there, side by side, in silence, heads low, waiting, while Morgan and Reid stay some steps away.

Soon Rossi and Jennifer join them, and Hotch finds Cruz and Garcia with them, and he hears them comment that the TPU team will be waiting for news at the office.

Another hideous thirty minutes crawl by before they see Cole hurrying out of an elevator. They all make way for him as he goes straight to Hotch and Connor, who stand sharply up to face him.

Cole comes with a tired smile, to allow them to breathe again even before giving them any explanation. Hotch hears Connor's shaky sigh as they listen to the man, and firmly presses his shoulder.

She's fine. They're bringing her back to her room in a while. She's sedated, and she shouldn't wake up until morning, so they can go home if they want, they'll let them know of any change.


	17. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Three 2-8

While they all allow themselves a moment to show both their stress and their relief, Hotch turns to Connor.

"You've been here all day," he says. "Let's go grab a bite, and then I'm taking you home. I'm staying, you can come back early tomorrow."

Connor narrows his eyes for a moment, like asking him who the hell does he think he is, then scoffs. "Mom's right: you do boss everybody around."

Hotch arches his eyebrows at how the boy, once more, clearly showed him his place in this.

"Yeah, guess I do…," he admits.

They join the others while Cruz calls Aldana, since it's past 9 pm and Cooper is already gone for the day.

Connor pokes Reid. "Your boss just sent me home, wanna stay over? I just got the 50 Years Special, Collector's Edition…"

"Collector's! I'm in!" Reid quickly replies.

"And me!" Garcia hurries to say. "I can take care of dinner!"

Connor looks at Hotch for the last time and Hotch nods. Then the boy waves at the others and leaves with Reid and Garcia, talking about the DVD they're planning to watch over and over all night long.

Cruz decides to play his rank. "Hotch, go to the hotel, take a shower, eat something."

"I can stay," Jennifer quickly volunteers.

"Me too," Cruz adds.

Hotch frowns —what!? He's not leaving until he sees… Cruz, Jennifer, Morgan and Rossi stand before him with serious warning looks. So he sighs and accepts to leave with Morgan and Rossi, already planning to be back within two hours top.

On their way to the hotel, they call Reid and the TPU for a last briefing before calling it a day.

"So, we found the car, but we couldn't find anything about the unsubs yet," Rossi starts. "Bank is sending a uniform to keep an eye on it tonight."

"Marley will call," Fred assures. "He doesn't like outsiders challenging his authority, and he doesn't want angry cops around."

"Connor remembered that the car was parked around the corner," Reid says.

"Gillian said the unsub's jacket had a badge reading C.H.H.S.," Hotch adds.

"Got it," Tanya says, writing it down.

"Reg also said that he was Hispanic, and that he was very anxious," Morgan remembers.

"The opposite to the one who shot Gomez," Rossi points. "Could this be some sort of gang initiation?"

Fred doesn't agree. "No, targeting cops is bound to cause problems to the whole gang."

"Maybe that's why they cover their faces and don't wear anything to connect them to any particular gang," Morgan says.

"I think JJ's right," Hotch replies. "This is a pack. The unsub who killed Gomes is the leader, and the one who shot Gillian can be a third man, the newest one trying to prove they can trust him."

"So what now?" Hank asks.

"Get some rest," Aldana says. "We don't have any urgent lead to follow right now, Reg's alright, and we need to clear our minds to start afresh in the morning."

"That's Reggie junior," Kurt mocks. "See you guys tomorrow."


	18. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Three 3-8

Gillian slowly opens her eyes to the soft glow of the bedside light. She wishes she could swear. One of her granddad's impressive Irish curses, those that made people turn pale and cross themselves. Because she's deep in morphine again, her body like three sacks of rocks and her head once more filled with wet cotton.

She looks to her right and spots the man sitting on the chair by the bed. He looks like drowsing, his head against his hand. Suit. But he's not Hotch. Who is he? Then, from her left, somebody else approaches the bed and leans to check on her.

"JJ…," she mutters.

"Hey…," Jennifer smiles at her. "They told us you'd be out until the morning."

"Well…"

Their voices startle Cruz up, and he stands up to go to the bed. Gillian frowns at seeing him there, then tries to smile. Cruz pats her hand smiling back.

"You and I really need to talk, Gillian," he says, anyway serious.

"Hotch…?"

"We sent him to the hotel, but he'll be back soon," Jennifer says.

Gillian frowns deeper. Speaking is not so exhausting anymore, what's hard now is getting her mouth to say the words in her mind.

"Then let's…" she nods at Cruz.

"I'm getting a coffee," Jennifer says right away. "Matt…?"

"No, thanks."

"I want one…"

"You're having that thing in your IV, Reg. Stay on it," Jennifer teases, and leaves.

Gillian turns to Cruz and meets his dark eyes and his mild frown.

"What am I gonna do with you, Gillian?"

"Not Todd… please…"

Cruz scoffs shaking his head.

Jennifer comes back in no hurry with her coffee and sees them talking, so she pauses and lingers in the hallway. But they don't take long. Only a couple of minutes later, she sees Cruz signaling her to join them, chuckling at something Gillian just said.

She turns to Jennifer with an envious glance at her coffee and says:

"He doesn't believe me… that he's the best… boss I've ever had…"

Jennifer smiles at how awkward Cruz is at her honest compliment.

"C'mon, Gillian! Are we gonna hug now?"

"Oh, you'd like that… I know…"

"Yeah, I can tell he's some of a hugger," Jennifer agrees, amused, while Cruz grunts.

Tanya is before her computer at her apartment when her phone rings. She picks up surprised, hears the request, smiles.

"Give me a minute," she says, typing into warp 2. "I'm sending it to your GPS. You go, I'll make sure they have it ready for you."

She hangs up and dials right away, orders what she needs, disconnects a makes another call.

"Al, sit tight. Guess who just called me…" she says.

Aldana shoulders her phone while she's doing the dishes at her house.

"Brandon," she answers right away.

Tanya scowls. "What? No! I haven't talked to that jerk in months! It was agent Hotchner."

"Everything ok with Reg?"

"You tell me, he asked me about a flower-shop open this late…"

"Get outta here!"


	19. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Three 4-8

Hotch walks down the hallway to Gillian's room with a bouquet of wildflowers in his hand. If Garcia ever leaves the team, he's definitely stealing this girl from the TPU for his team. He's changed his suit for street clothes, and he's seriously planning a drowse in his chair by the bed, considering she won't be up until- Why are Cruz and Jennifer sitting on the bed?

When he's about to open the door, he hears the Section Chief saying:

"-calling me baby at 2 am, on speakers, with my wife right outside the door!"

Jennifer is laughing, hand to her mouth to keep it quiet, as Cruz shakes his head and Gillian growls, eyes shut, because laughing makes her wound hurt like hell.

"But the week sleeping in the couch paid off," Cruz goes on as Hotch noiselessly steps in. "Because now she's not bringing jeans to work anymore."

"To the office…," Gillian grunts, still fighting back the laughter.

"Gillian, you said to work."

"No, I didn't."

"Discussing local chefs?" Hotch softly asks, showing up by Jennifer.

"Yeah, and backaches," Cruz says, as he and Jennifer stand up. "Try to get her have some sleep, Hotch. She shouldn't even be awake. See you guys tomorrow."

Hotch nods as they wave at Gillian goodnight and leave. He waits for the door to be closed behind him, then he looks up at her, finding her eyes fixed on him with a mild smile.

"I knew you had heard me…," she grunts.

He nods smiling.

Then she spots the flowers in his hand and frowns. He gives them to her, but he also frowns, at seeing her eyes get full of tears as she takes the flowers to her face and smells them.

"Sorry…," she mutters, closing her eyes and resting her head back on her pillow, keeping the flowers to her chest. "I'm a complete idiot today… Stupid meds…"

And she's breathing deep, trying to find a hint of her cool back, when she feels his hand in her hair again, and his lips against her forehead. She opens her eyes to find his face hardly an inch away from hers, the bedside lamp showing her one of his eyes clear and bright, while leaving the other side of his face in the dark.

That's just how she loves him, with all of his lights and his shadows, she thinks.

Hotch rests again his elbow above her pillow as his other hand gently wipes away a tear, looking into her eyes, fighting hard not to kiss her at the way she seems to be absorbing his image. She presses her cheek against his palm, closing her eyes so nothing can distract her from feeling his touch, and lets out a heartfelt sigh.

He's about to speak and she doesn't want him to. Because if he does, she will have no other choice but to leave it all behind and follow him.

And this is not like the day she threw her police badge at King Gillian's feet. Back then she sort of used Hotch, his support, his understanding, to do something she wanted to do but didn't dare to do on her own.

This is so different. It's the terrifying chance of making all of her stupid dreams come true.

Dinning with him, Connor and Jack. Profiling over doing the dishes. Cuddling in his arms at night when they're both in town. Leaving him three words in a stick note on his desk when he's away. Watching the morning news from the couch over coffee.

Sharing her life with him.

Being happy in all the most stupid and simple of ways.


	20. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Three 5-8

Hotch does not only see the tears she's fighting back, but he also feels them on his hand, still resting against her face. And he knows exactly what she's thinking, and that she needs him to shut his mouth and give her room.

But he's already done that. And now he knows that he's been lenient about it because he, too, had his own share of doubts and fears to deal with. Until today. Now he's faced the certain possibility of her death, all of their doubts and fears mean nothing anymore.

So he rests his forehead against hers and whispers: "I love you."

He feels her chill and her sharp breathe, as she stays completely still, as if not openly acknowledging his words would make them go away.

"And if you're not transferring to DC, I'm transferring to Boston."

Now she does open her eyes and face him, almost scowling. "You can't transfer to Boston," she argues in a whisper. "You can't leave the team."

"Then don't make me."

She looks at him for a moment and slowly takes her hand to his face, meeting his eyes without the hint of a smile.

"I need you to promise me something," she seriously says. "I know you're planning to stay until I'm discharged and back home. But when this is over, and you guys catch whoever shot me and Gomez, you're going back to DC with your team."

"What?"

"I'm not keeping you away from Jack, when you may be called away the minute you get back home."

Hotch is trying not to scowl. And failing miserably. She gently caresses his cheek, very aware that this is the first time she does so, and it curls her lips in a little smile.

"Job and son first, Hotch. That's us, remember?" she says. "And once your team solves this case, I won't be business anymore."

"Why are you trying to keep me away?" he asks, flustered. "I know you want to be with me too."

"Because this is jumping to the roof across the street for me. So I need to step back and ramp-up, ok?"

That's it. She's said it. She just committed. Because there's no saying no to him when he's looking at her like this —actually he's scowling at her like she's the worst criminal he's ever chased, but she knows what's making him scowl, and that's what she can't say no to.

Hotch studies her for a moment, his eyes full of questions, trying to find the exact words to ask them all in one, because there are no second chances here.

And Gillian sees him closing his eyes, taking a deep breath, nodding, and feels the panic squeezing her guts in a way no morphine can ease. It's so scary, having such an effect on such a man. Being his weakness. That's why she has to find the courage to do this. She just can't be his weakness. She has to be another source of strength for him, and the room for him to let go of whatever may trouble him. She can't undermine this amazing, intelligent, strong, sweet man.

A giggle escapes her lips when the word sweet comes to her mind related to him. To SSA Aaron Hotchner. Well, maybe she's not right in the head. But he's sweet, and there's nothing she can do about it.

He would give away his badge to know what makes her giggle, but there are still too many killers he has to catch, so he doesn't ask. He just smiles back at her.

Then Gillian's eyes slide down his face, and he feels a chill when she bites her own lip. She looks just like a shy girl, expecting him to kiss her. And he will be more than happy to obl-

"Excuse me, sir!?" an annoyed nurse squeals from the door. "Would you _please_ step back?"

They swallow their laughter as the woman stalks in to stand at the other side of the bed, completely outraged at him. Hotch straightens up arching his eyebrows.

"Sorry…" he manages to say.

"Miss Gillian needs to rest!" the nurse scolds him, angrily checking the IV and the rest of the equipment. "So if you can't help keeping her awake, I will have to ask you to leave."

"That won't be necessary," he seriously assures.

As to prove his good will, he steps back and sits down. The nurse tries to take the flowers from Gillian's hand, but she shoots one of her death glares at her, and the woman pretends to overlook the flowers, scowls at Hotch for the last time, and leaves.

Both of them cover their mouths to chuckle as soon as she's out, leaving the door wide open, just in case the glass wall isn't enough to let show anything that happens in the room. She soon grunts, because laughing hurts so much, and go figure the irony. She turns to him and reaches out for his hand.

"The nurse is right," Hotch says, but he pulls his chair closer, takes her hand and kisses her fingers. "Try to sleep."

Gillian closes her eyes with a weary sigh and a moment later, even against her will, she's asleep.

A couple of hours later, the nurse drops by ready for another scold, and finds her peacefully sleeping, keeping the wildflowers to her chest, while Hotch drowses off in his chair, still holding her hand.


	21. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Three 6-8

"City on the Hill High School!"

"Good morning to you too, T," Morgan smiles, as Cruz and the team try to set a whole foot into the field office, past a very anxious Tanya.

"C.H.H.S, right?" says Reid. "From the unsub's jacket. It's the name of a high school?"

"Yes!" Tanya hands him a folder. "Kyle Campos, 18, he was kicked out of that High School three years ago and never went back to school. No prior records."

"Did you find an address?" Jennifer asks.

"It's in the folder, along with the warrant."

Rossi checks his watch. "You never cease to amaze me, kiddo."

"Bank is waiting for you to go arrest Campos."

Jennifer stops on her way to the conference room. "Then let's go."

"Rossi, you guys stay here," Morgan says. "I'm going with JJ and Fred."

"And Hank. Please take Hank or I'm gonna kill him."

Morgan nods smiling as he pats Tanya's head. The girl turns to the others. "Coffee's ready in the conference room." She spins around and goes back to her desk, while Fred and Hank hurry to join Jennifer and Morgan and they all leave.

"Is there anything left for me to do…?" Garcia mutters, abashed.

"You can work on Campos' associates. If they're uploading the videos to the internet, he sure has more activity online," Rossi suggests.

Garcia grins at him. "Thank you, you just restored my self-value."

Cruz follows Reid and Rossi into the conference room.

"Not easy…," he comments.

"Never," Rossi smiles.

The apartment is too small for Kyle's young mother and her four kids. The woman shakes her head at every question Jennifer asks as she holds a baby in her arms, two toddlers stuck to her legs.

Morgan makes his way to one of the two bedrooms. Three beds, a mess of toys and clothes, hardly any room left to step. There's a small table under the window across the room, a computer on it. He calls Garcia as he opens the computer.

"Hey, baby girl…"

"Work me, please! T and Kurt are too efficient and they're making me feel obsolete!"

"What? That word's never gonna match your name, baby. Listen, I have a computer here, can you check it?"

Garcia is already typing. "I love you, did I tell you that?"

"Not today, I was missing it…"

Jennifer shows at the door with her phone in her hand. "Garcia's busy? Then I'm calling Tanya. I got Kyle's number…"

"No!" cries Garcia, forcing Morgan to take the phone away from his ear. "Tell JJ I'll do it in a sec!"

"Are you jealous, baby girl? You shouldn't be, cos nobody could ever replace you, and you know that."

"Thank you…"

"Are you pouting?"

"Not anymore. Well, this boy needs some serious parental supervision, his computer is full of violence and stuff with too many Xs. Here's an encrypted folder. I'll call you in a minute, when I crack it."


	22. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Three 7-8

Aldana notices that Tanya scowls at her screen and starts typing.

"What is it?"

"Kyle's mother just called him, but the call only lasted a few seconds. I don't know if I can track him."

At the same time Garcia, working in the conference room, pauses typing.

"Agent Rossi…?" she calls with a thread of voice. "Kyle edited the videos, here's the original footage. And there's also a lot of videos of the one who shot detective Gomez. He seems to be alone, ranting."

"Did you find out what Gomez called him?"

"Joe, or Joey, that's all I got."

"Let's see them."

Cruz, Rossi and Reid turn to the screen.

Morgan and Jennifer hurry to get into the backseat of the TPU's SUV and Hank signals them to stay quiet. Fred takes a call on speakers.

"Marley my man…"

"Hey, Fred the fed, I've watched the videos."

"Anything familiar?"

"The boy talking all the time. I think I know him. Joey something, he tried to hang out with us some time ago."

"What do you know about him? All we know is that Gomez knew him."

"If he's the one I think, he lives in the project around my corner, but I don't know his apartment. You said Gomez knew him?"

"Yes…"

"I think he was bragging about his old man being a cop. A total hero, he said. Why would he be shooting his daddy's fellas?"

"We'll look into it, Marley. Stay outta trouble."

"You too, my man."

Fred disconnects and Hank turns puzzled to Jennifer and Morgan.

"The son of a cop…?"

Fred phone rings again and he signals the others to wait.

"T… Send us the address." He hangs up and tells them: "Tanya tracked a call to Kyle's phone. It's not far from here."

Jennifer and Morgan are already jumping out of the SUV.

"Let's go!"


	23. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Three 8-8

Gillian begged and pleaded and finally got the morning nurses to give her a tea with two crackers, so she sets to have her "joke of a breakfast", as she calls it, while Hotch fetches himself a coffee. He comes back on the phone, and puts the call on speakers asking:

"And what about the videos?"

He calmly dodges Gillian attempt to snatch the coffee from his hand, and scowls at her to behave, while Rossi explains:

"Reid is watching them again to see if he can detect any linguistic indicator. But they're basically the boy ranting about the police department being full of hypocrites pretending to be heroes."

"Ok, call me when Morgan and JJ get to the place Tanya tracked."

Hotch hangs up, about to scold Gillian like a little girl, and finds her almost grimacing.

"You ok?" he asks, suddenly concerned.

"You should go…" she says.

"Go where?"

"With them, to catch the bad guys. Go, I'll be fine."

He scowls again. "I'm not going anywhere, Gillian. I'm staying here with you."

"But you're dying to be here."

Hotch smiles, softening his voice. "If I go, my head would be here anyway, wondering if you're ok or if you trying to bribe the nurses to bring you coffee," he says, taking her hand. "So this is where I have to be."

She lays back against her pillow and takes his hand to her face again, closing her eyes with a shaky sigh.

"Hush, agent Hotchner," she mutters. "I'm about to cry again and I don't want to. It hurts…" —yet it doesn't hurt as much as laughing…

end of act three


	24. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Four 1-8

The coordinates Tanya gives them take them to an alley were a car was just reported stolen. And there they find a cellphone smashed against the ground.

And right when Morgan is informing Rossi about it, Garcia says, in a thread of voice:

"They're uploading a new video…"

Soon she has everybody patched over the phone, while Hank listens to a police scanner on earphones.

"Are you tracking them, Garcia?" Jennifer asks, while Morgan floors the SUV, sirens on.

"I'm trying to bypass all the proxies, but it takes time!"

"The police just reported an officer down in the Back Bay area," Hank informs. "That's not far from where Reg was shot."

Leaning to Hotch's phone, on speakers by her pillow, Gillian asks: "Hank, d' you know who…?"

"Brian…"

She closes her eyes with a deep breath. Brian, Gomez and her worked Vices together, 5 years ago.

Hotch says: "Garcia, leave the tracking to Tanya, we need you to run a search. Guys, what do we have on the pack leader?"

"His father was a police," Reid says.

"A total hero, Marley said," Fred adds.

Tanya hurries into the conference room and takes on tracking the upload while Rossi turns to Garcia: "So look for police officers with a son, 18 to 23, called Joe or some variation. John, Joseph, Joshua… Look for decorated officers leaving in the southern part of the city."

"First he bragged about his father being a hero," Jennifer recalls. "Now he's shooting them because they're not heroes… Something shattered that hero image he had."

"I can't find anything!" Garcia cries, flustered.

"Baby girl, look for officers who lost their badge for any kind of misconduct."

"Nothing!"

"How about an unrecognized hero?" Hotch says.

"Woods!" Reid and Jennifer say at the same time.

Everybody's eyes widen for a beat, as Reid sums up: "He thought himself a hero, he resented the force for not acknowledging it, he knew Reg and he had a teenage soon. Now his son is picking on his revenge against those who got the acknowledgement Woods thought he deserved."

"The boy we caught on the park and let go…," Morgan grunts.

"Yeah, and he almost blew us all up a few hours later," Jennifer points.

"Woods used to live only a street away from Gomez' place," Gillian says. "That's why he knew his son…"

"Jonathan Williams!" Garcia is happy to announce. "And his last known address is 200 yards away from where the car was!"

"Rossi, alert Banks," Cruz says.

"Guys! The police are chasing them!" Hank alerts them.

"Fred, take the lead! Hang on, JJ!"

"Be careful," Hotch warns. "Woods' son won't turn himself in, and he's gonna drag the other boys to try to make a stand."

"And the lads in blue want blood for Gomez and Brian," Gillian agrees. "Don't engage if you can help it, guys."

Fred and Morgan hit the gas hard across town to Back Bay, but when they get there, there's not much to do but to watch with impotence.

In the heart of the residential area, fifty yards away from a corner, the three boys are barricaded behind the car they've just stolen, and the three of them have guns way bigger than a 22.

Across the street and on both sides, police cruisers block their way out. Uniforms are barricaded behind their cruisers, all the guns pointing at the boys while Banks commands them to surrender on speakers.

But Woods' son shoots, missing Banks for a couple of inches, and the police respond at once. The boys keep shooting until, one by one, the three of them are shot down.

Banks order the uniforms to cease fire and they cautiously approach the stolen car, to find the boys dead, lying in a growing pool of blood.

At the furthest corner, Fred gears in grimacing and drives away. Morgan follows.


	25. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Four 2-8

Cole checks on Gillian, has her bandages changed and hangs a sling from her neck, to prevent her from moving her left arm until the wound is completely healed. Hotch and Connor walk back into the room in time to hear her say:

"Thanks, Ben. So can I go home now?"

Cole shakes his head, amused. "In a couple of days, Reg. If you behave."

Hotch is not surprised that the doctor is already in first names basis with her, just like most of the nurses in that section —at least in the morning shift, which doesn't include grumpy witches. Jennifer also told him about the flowers the gang leader gave her for "Gillian-his-chick".

Then they hear the door opening and Rossi comes in.

He's the only one who hasn't seen Gillian yet, and as soon as Gillian spots him, she reaches out her hand to him, urging him to come closer. Connor glances at Hotch and nods at the door, to follow Cole out. As they leave the room, Hotch has a glimpse of the hug Rossi gives Gillian, while she throws her arm tightly around his neck, eyes shut.

He still hears Rossi warmly scolding her: "Don't you ever dare to scare me like this again, kiddo, you hear me?"

And she answers in a shaky, moved sigh: "I know. I'm sorry, Dave, I'm sorry…"

Then Connor closes the door, looking up at him and actually almost scowling at his interest in what's going on between the other two.

"Are you staying?"

Connor's question takes Hotch completely aback, and he shakes his head.

"No?" —that's Rossi's intonation 101.

"She asked me not to, Connor," he says, holding up his deep blue eyes, so different from his mother's.

"And you agreed?" The boy seems to find it hard to believe it.

Hotch decides to remove Connor from his mental "son" category and be straight.

"I can't force it onto her, Connor," he calmly says.

"Of course you can! You're the only one who can!"

Okay, Hotch didn't see that coming. Not from her son at least. But once it's out, he has to admit that the boy's right: he's always been the only one Gillian takes a no as an answer from.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," he says.

"You better," Connor grunts, looking away as he slightly shakes his head.

Before Hotch can say anything else, the rest of his team comes to them from the elevators, and they head all together back to Gillian's room.

Jennifer signals Hotch to fall a step behind from the others and whispers:

"I brought your go-bag, as you asked me. You sure you don't wanna stay?"

"Sure I want to, JJ. But I'm going back home with you guys," he sighs.

Jennifer scowls, turning to look ahead at Gillian's room and snorts, annoyed. Which tells Hotch that at least somebody is not blaming him for leaving so soon.


	26. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Four 3-8

In the room, the team is saying goodbye to Gillian.

"Penelope and I went to the supermarket, so Connor won't starve," Jennifer says, and turns to Connor. "We left you everything ready for the oven, ok?"

"Kitten's pie?" the boy asks, full of hope.

"Three," Garcia smiles.

Connor hoorays out loud while Gillian grunts: "Not fair. I'm stuck with damned hospital food."

"Get well soon and I'll bake more only for you, LT."

"And me!" smiles Morgan, leaning to kiss Gillian's hair. "Take care, Reg, ok?"

"I'm coming next week, if I can," Reid says. "For Connor's chess competition."

"Star Trek marathon, doctor?" Gillian winks, and Reid nods smiling.

"I may tag along," Rossi says.

Reid and Gillian trade a grin. "That means barbecue or pasta. I like it," Reid points.

Then she looks around and frowns. "Where's Chief Cruz?"

And Hotch notices there's no "Matt", not even plain "Cruz". He must be the only human on earth Gillian refers to by rank and last name, save when she still calls him "agent Hotchner". Does Cruz have any idea what sort of achievement it means? Hotch certainly hopes not.

Jennifer answers: "He's staying until tomorrow. Right now, he's in a meeting at the field office. With Cooper and your team."

Hotch sees the silent dialogue between the two women. Gillian frowns deeper, Jennifer arches her eyebrows, Gillian sighs slightly nodding, Jennifer waits for her to meet her eyes again and arches her eyebrows even more: Jennifer just scolded Gillian, who admitted herself guilty as charged —but what the hell about?

They head slowly to the door as Gillian says:

"Take care, you all. And thanks for running to the rescue again. Love you!"

Rossi pauses at the door and says to Hotch: "We'll be downstairs." Then he walks out with Connor, leaving Gillian and Hotch alone.

When he turns again to her, he can tell she's fully armored, geared up an ready to stand her ground to the bitter end. But he's not about to have an argument with her as their farewell.

"You sure you don't want me to stay?" he calmly asks.

She nods trying a smile.

"Hey, in a while my team's gonna be here, and even Cooper —God forbid. And Banks, and other friends from the force. This will be the frigging parade your scowl's been preventing this far, until Cole lets me go home."

Hotch holds up her eyes, letting her see without a doubt that he's not buying her cool. Gillian's smile fades, as she tightly presses her lips. Then she reaches out for his hand, and takes it to her lips.

She closes her eyes, cursing herself for being such a despicable coward, keeping her mouth against his skin. Then he gently moves his hand a little, to grab her chin and make her look up. They look at each other for a long moment, and Gillian really wishes he can read in her eyes how much she loves him, despite her unbeatable panic.

Hotch is not smiling. He gives her that moment to say something, to change her mind. But she doesn't. So he leans forward to her, and his lips touch her face right by hers. He won't kiss her when she's sending him away. He feels her eyelashes brushing his cheek when she closes her eyes with a deep breath. He's not telling her again that he loves her, either. She already knows.

Without transition, he straightens back and heads to the door.

She doesn't say a word to stop him, but her eyes follow his figure walking away down the hallway. And when he goes around the bend at the nurse station, she falls back down on her pillow and covers her eyes with a shaky hand, biting her lips not to cry. And failing.


	27. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Four 4-8

_"__Freedom is a heavy load, a great and strange burden for the spirit to undertake. It is not easy. It is not a gift given, but a choice made, and the choice may be a hard one" — Ursula K. Le Guin_

One of those weeks when Hotch really considers applying for a 9 to 5 administrative post. A sadist collector in Nevada, abducting women and keeping them in cells in an underground dungeon, seven at a time, one for each day of the week to abuse and torture.

It takes them three whole days to identify the unsub, and when they finally catch him, the son of a bitch lawyers up and refuses to say where he's keeping his victims. So they waste two more precious days until they're able to locate his dungeon. And they get there in time to save only five of the seven women, while two of them die out of torture and starvation.

Throughout that stressing nightmare, Hotch takes a minute every night to call Gillian, but she never picks the phone. His calls skip always straight to mail voice, where he leaves his message every time, hoping one day she'll actually call him back, or text him, or whatever.

Back in DC, he hardly gets two days at home with Jack before an Amber Alert puts the team on the jet in the middle of the night and on their way to Georgia, where a little boy's disappeared on his way back from school.

It's not the first case in the area, and everything points at a preferential pedophile, but nobody's connected the dots before because he's operating in different counties.


	28. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Four 5-8

Connor comes down the stairs and spots Gillian's phone buzzing on the table.

"Mom, you got a call," he says.

"Yeah, it's ok," she answers from the kitchen.

"Need a hand?" Connor offers, distractedly picking the phone as the call goes to mail box.

"No, thanks, baby."

What's bugging her? Connor can tell she's been way too absentminded since she got out of the hospital. And it's not the hangover after the surprise welcome party they put up for her there at her house, because it's already been a week since that.

Then Connor reads the phone screen: "missed call: Hotch" and frowns. He turns to the kitchen, about to ask a question, and sees Gillian coming with a smoky plate.

"Where's your sling?"

"Connor…," she grunts, the usual warning when he's stepping out of his role as her son to try to play the wise young adult with her.

She leaves the plate and finishes laying the table for dinner. Connor shows her the phone. "It was Hotch," he seriously says.

"I know," she grunts, turning her back to him to pick the glasses from a cupboard.

Connor scowls and browses the list of missed calls in her phone. Hotch, Hotch, Hotch, Hotch. Almost a dozen missed calls from him. And she hasn't even checked the voice mails, the messages are all still there.

So the boy browses one and puts it on speakers. Gillian almost drops the glasses at hearing the voice filling the family-room.

"Gillian, it's Hotch, again. I just wanted to check on you. Please call me."

She spins around, shooting a death glare at his son. But it's her son, he's been dealing with her death glares all of his life —and getting away with it. So he holds up her eyes almost scornful as he plays the next message.

"Gillian, it's Hotch. Just wanted to check on you. Call me, please."

And the next one.

"It's Hotch, Gillian. Please call me, I just wanted to check on you."

Gillian leaves the glasses on the table scowling at Connor and strides around the table to snatch the phone from his hand. But Connor drops it on the table saying in a voice gauged to frost the whole house, oozing contempt:

"I'm not hungry."

He spins around and hurries upstairs while Hotch's voice says, from the speakers:

"It's me, Hotch. I just wanted to check on you. Please, call me."

She closes her eyes with a shaky breath and grabs the phone, lowering her head.


	29. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Four 6-8

The team walks into the BAU office chatting.

They're drained, but happy: they got to the boy in time and saved him. The unsub tried to run first, and then put up a hell of a fight, but Morgan and Hotch were able to finally subdue him, and when he made his last attempt to escape, as they were already cuffing him, Rossi's shot put an end to it.

Hotch goes on to his office as the others linger by the desks, where Garcia comes to join them.

It's almost dinner time, but he's in no hurry, since Jack is staying over with a friend, so he can stay a while longer doing some paperwork.

He halts at the door, finding there's somebody by the window, looking out: Gillian.

She turns around with a mild smile, her arm still in the sling. Hotch slowly drops his go-bag and closes the door behind him.

Her, here, cannot have many interpretations. But Hotch's learned not to take anything for granted with Gillian when it comes to feelings and emotions.

"Hey…," he says.

"Hey…," she echoes.

His heart is starting to race, but he knows that nothing about him gives it away. He holds back his anxiety and waits for her to speak. She does so in a soft, casual way.

"Tough case, Penelope told me…"

"Yeah. A pedophile…"

She nods, the seconds ticking between them. Her heart is heavily drumming from her belly all the way up to her throat, but she knows how to keep her cool too. Both of them keep their voices low and calm.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you back," she says then.

"It's ok, Dave keeps me posted."

"Bet he does…"

A warm smile, full of affection, curls her lips as she nods.

Ok, do something, Hotchner, or she'll leave to say hi to the team and you'll never hear of her again.

"Did you have dinner?" Hotch's double p: proper and polite.

"I was waiting for you to do it."

Gillian smirks at the glimpse of surprise that betrays him. Her eyes move away from him and around the office, only lit by the desk lamp, while she musters more courage than she's ever needed in her whole life to say, meeting his eyes again:

"I decided that I… What I felt when that boy shot me…? Well, I don't wanna feel it anymore, so I… I really need to get sick and tired of seeing you face, you know?"


	30. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Four 7-8

That's it. The best way she's found to say it. Right now she cannot be any more straight forward than this, because her knees are starting to feel like jelly. She waits for his answer, really wishing he doesn't notice she's holding her breath.

Hotch frowns with a tentative smile, not daring to be as linear as he's dying to be.

"And have you thought about how you want to do it?"

That, good. Give her room to expose some crazy schedule of meeting every once in a while at some motel, halfway between Boston and DC, or whatever unexpected plan she may have come up with. But she only says:

"Yeap…"

"Ok… Good."

Dammit. Wrong wording can send everything to hell. And then, before he can try to rephrase, she says, soft and casual as she's been talking this far:

"Chief Cruz is getting ready some remote hidden basement —a fallout bunker, I think, where my team can't disturb Quantico's fine and proper habits."

WHAT!? She's transferring to DC!? And not only her, but her whole team!? He didn't see that coming. Not in a million years.

"You mean you're…?" he tries, and trails off, fighting the fair fight to stay in character.

"Yeap."

Then why is she still standing there, all the way across the office, with that mild smile and her tone like she's commenting on the weather, geared up to throat and gut and kill with a smile in her lips?

Because she's freezing in panic, agent Hotchner, that's why. She's putting her life in his hands, forcing herself to utter every word because she just can't stay away from him anymore.

Hotch smiles a little wider, but her attitude puzzles him and he's not quite convinced yet. First she wouldn't even take his calls, and now she's sort of moving in with him, dragging along her son and her five agents for the ride? He's not about to complain about it, he will definitely hand out his badge before doing so.

"And when…?"

She smiles a millimeter wider.

"As soon as I find an apartment or a house in the area… D'you think we can blackmail any of your neighbors into moving out?" —so I can be your workaholic next door?

"No, but we can try," smiling several inches wider, but still in character. He's regretting his apartment doesn't have an extra bedroom. For Connor. The punks-on-a-picnic can go live in a park for all he cares.

Then she glances out of the inner window and smirks. Hotch nods, looking down.

"They're all out there, watching." Statement, not question.

"Yeap." Oh so smooth.

Of course they are, if she called Garcia to know when they were coming home, and as soon as they were off the jet, she went straight into Hotch's office to wait for him.

Fine, Gillian, time to move. Your stupid knees can hold it up three steps. Maybe not five, but he's there, he can catch you if you trip. She strolls to the window, too very aware of Hotch's eyes following her every move.

She sticks her face to the blinds with her trademark smartass smirk, waves at the other five down there, eyes fixed on her and not even blinking, and closes the blinds.

Now the hardest part of it all: facing back Hotch.

He's still standing there, hardly a step into his office, still with that mix of frown and smile as he watches her.

_Ok, help me out here, because this is as far as I dare to go._

She thinks it as she meets his eyes again. And he doesn't need her to say it, because it's her and it's him, and this reading each other through their armors is what's been keeping them away for over a year, and what brings them together now. That heartbeat looking into each other eyes, right before finally getting out of the blasted building, when they saw each other.

He stretches out his hand to her without a word, his eyes in hers. She takes it, and Hotch feels the gentle warmth of tenderness in his chest at her chill. His fingers slowly close around hers. She's just lost her last chance to fall back and run away. And she knows it.

So he gently pulls her closer.

Gillian rests her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes as she cuddles her face against his neck. Hotch's arm rounds her shoulders, careful about her left arm, and his other arm rounds her back, keeping her to him. And he too closes his eyes.

They linger like this for a long moment, simply breathing, trying to process that they're finally there, together, for real. And that this is only the beginning.

Hotch lets out a deep, heartfelt sigh, that makes Gillian stick even more to him. Then he kisses her hair. And when he speaks in a whisper, she feels another chill, because he manages it to mean a world in three words:

"Let's go home."


	31. Gillian Saga VII Sideways Act Four 8-8

The team sees the door to Hotch's office open and they trade a frown —so soon? It's been hardly ten minutes since Hotch walked in there and found Gillian. And hardly five since she closed the blinds.

Hotch lets Gillian out, his briefcase and her bag in his hand, and follows her down the steps. She comes to meet the team as she always does, just to find their skeptics looks. Then Gillian flashes again her smartass smirk and says:

"Guys, if you really care about your boss, you should get him a better desk."

They all snort and scoff and huff, turning away from her. But Reid, who narrows his eyes when Hotch joins them, hardly pausing to say, blank face, flat tone:

"See you guys tomorrow."

Reid flashes a little smile as the others see in a puzzle that Gillian waves at them and follows Hotch. He holds the glass door for her and they walk out together.

"Did they…?" Garcia mutters.

"Or they didn't, for a change," Morgan huffs.

"I can't tell!" Jennifer frowns, flustered.

Rossi sighs, raising his eyebrows. "And we're supposed to be the top profilers of the bureau…"

Reid leans back in his chair as the others hurry to the glass door.

"Guys," he tries. "What difference does it make?"

But the others are already piling up against the glass.

Hotch and Gillian are standing in the hallway, waiting for the elevator, with a whole step between them, backs turned to the glass door.

Eyes nailed to the closed booth before him, Hotch says: "They're still watching us."

Gillian also keeps her eyes ahead, fighting hard not to hug him and kiss him. "Yeap."

But it's just too much, so she suggests: "Should we cause them PTSD?"

"No. Serves them well." He sounds a bit dry, but that's just because he can't wait to get the hell out of there with her.

Gillian looks up at him. "Will you call me by my name now?"

Hotch tries not to look back at her, else within an hour they'll be very viral on the internet thanks to security feeds and very fired from the bureau for improper exhibitions in a federal facility.

"That's not up to me," he seriously points.

"Then you will. Tomorrow."

Hotch's fingertips are brushing the briefcase's and her bag's handles not to feel the delicious tingling. But let's better be clear.

"Tomorrow's breakfast…"

"Well, today's Tuesday, right?"

Hotch closes his eyes, smiling at that cherry-on-the-pie detail. She smiles wider at his reaction.

The booth jingles and the door slides open, God bless it. Hotch allows Gillian to step in first, then he steps in too and presses the button to the parking lot. They turn around to face the team, still piled up against the glass door. Hotch bestows his best blank nod on them, Gillian her best smirk.

And the booth door slides closed.

**THE END**


End file.
